Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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