you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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