i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
