I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
