Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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