that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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