I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
