there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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