Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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