the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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