her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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