redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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