After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
