Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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