I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
