At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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