wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i think i just lost a toe
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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