My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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