I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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