you would pick up someone in the library
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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