i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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