When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize