you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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