I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
