the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
