Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Having a random hookup so left but love u
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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