what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
