too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
