who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
