So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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