How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
