I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
