I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
