i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
