Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
