shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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