Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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