You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
