So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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