my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Drake has all the answers
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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