Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
