Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize