Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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