I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I did not marry a roomba.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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