I could have mohawked her pubes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
