If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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