Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is not my ceiling
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
