I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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