I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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