Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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