talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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