I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
