When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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