I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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