There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
