she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
