btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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