well I can't set my house on fire every night
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize